Impossible, my dear lady. That's absurd. Unthinkable.

What is unthinkable? That people are having money problems? Good golly. I had no idea. But really, a lot of us should be thankful that our providers and loved ones are doing well under the circumstances. I just find myself running out of money month after month. I don't understand it. Well I do. I spend it. But I don't buy luxuries (maybe a $1 nail polish here and there) which is annoying because I do love the unnecessary things. Who doesn't? Groceries are SO expensive. I'll just leave it at that, because I feel everyone is feeling that pressure. But going out and being social (which is a struggle already for me) is another financial burden. Well I shouldn't use the word burden because it is fun to go out. But it is something I have to factor into my monthly costs. The little things too (that I don't steal from my parents) add up, like toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning supplies, soap to bath myself with. OH and having a COLD this month doesn't help: cough medicine, day/night quil, cough drops, Kleenex, etc. It seems like a simple solution: you are running out of money, why don't you get a job? Good point. However, I think at this point in the semester and in my life having a job at school would put too much pressure on me. Yes there are times when I get bored (like now) in between classes but I know how much I can take and this is about it, sadly.
I wish I was stronger. I wish I was like Kelsey sometimes who can just work and work and work until she's dead. Maybe she isn't the most healthiest example because she really needs to take a break once and a while, but she is someone who I see as an example of a really hard worker. That said and my rant over I hope everyone enjoyed wasting their time reading this and thinks about what they should send me at school.

The most amazing fabulous sensational gum in the whole world

Haven't done much this week, but I thought I should post something. We started having production meetings for Jack and the Beanstalk. And my original plans have been changed a bit but not to the point where it really bothers me. The only qualm I have is that the ones in charge seem more concerned on what the director thinks of the changes and not how I feel. I am getting nervous that things are actually happening. All last semester it was what ifs and theoretical ideas and now I need to finish my construction drawings so the shop can get to work.

Did my laundry today. Oh, I went to the Co-op a couple of days ago and got some Annie's organic food and some unsulfured dried fruit! It was exciting to buy food there.

I just did my nails and put cuticle oil on and now my keyboard is getting a little greasy.


Kelsey is gone this weekend so I don't really know what I'm going to do. Hopefully Rochelle calls me tonight. Tomorrow I plan on going to the print studio and getting some colors down on my first print and play some piano. It takes me about an hour now to do a chapter so hopefully I can crank one out.

Mattie has been good. She now is sleeping on the couch when I'm gone and I hear her jump off when I open the door. Silly pup. We love that it is warmer out! Our afternoon walks have become longer and longer. Mattie needs to build up her endurance from all those short winter walks!

You should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about

Ugh. I've had such a bad day. No one in the academic field has any confidence in me. It is very discouraging.

In this blog atmosphere I think I will have a hard time keeping track of what I should keep personal and what I should feel is appropriate to publish. I want this to be a personal update of my life but I don't any feelings to get hurt or exploit myself and later regret it. hmm...boundaries and limits two of my best qualities.

I still feel alone at school. And this is no one's fault but my own. If I could only reach out. There always seems to be something blocking me.

At times like this I like to listen to some good music and sing a long. But then I get really self conscious because I've always wished I was a better singer. I know people say, "oh I wish I could sing". But this is something I have wished since I was little girl. (exploitation number 1 lol) But I shouldn't let that stop me from singing (opposed to sinning which I accidentally wrote)
my heart out!

That's all for today. Mattie didn't poop today. I expect a special gift for me in the morning! TMI? Maybe for most, but it's an everyday topic for me. Deal.